3AM and I'm sitting here writing a blog entry instead of doing my essay because honestly...I don't understand my essay topic at all.
So...here we go =)
A random thought:
Is change good or bad?
If it's good change, what determines that it's good change?
If it's bad change, what determines that it's bad change?
"You changed!" I heard these two words quite a few times since I've been back to Corona.
"You're more calm. You quieted down. You're more chill. You're less attention-seeking."...and so on.
We can look at it in several ways:
Did I change and should I keep changing?
Or did I not change at all and was I just pretending to be something that I want to be but can't ever be?
I seek attention. I'm too friendly. I'm too outgoing. I'm a "social butterfly." Are these good characteristics? Or are these bad characteristics? Now, people say I'm less attention-seeking, less social, and more chill. Why are people telling me I changed, as if I changed for the better? Is this who people want me to be? In my head I'm thinking, "I guess people like that about me better...maybe I should change" but in my heart I'm feeling, "This is who I am, this is who I've always been, and I don't need to change a thing". Or maybe I never changed. Maybe deep inside, I'm always going to be crazy and super friendly. Maybe I'm going through a phase where I'm changing personalities because I want to see how it feels like to act another way. Since I'm never really that calm or quiet, maybe I just want to see how people would treat me if I did act this way. Or maybe as my friend pointed out...I just want to impress everyone and anyone around me. I should be me and only me. I shouldn't try to be something that I'm not. In the end, I have to realize that my personality will clash with other personalities. I need to stop trying to get along with the whole entire world and just let things go with the flow.
On the way back home, I had the chance to talk to my best friend about the topic of change.
We came up with several conclusions by the end of our car ride.
1. No one can determine if you changed for the better or worse. It's you, yourself who can only determine that.
2. I can't get please everyone.
3. Change isn't easy.
So, did anyone understand this blog at all? I think I might have confused myself a bit.
It is now 4AM.
Oh ya and on a brighter note...
my favorite men as of now are Michael Buble, Jon McLaughlin, and John Mayer.
Can you say a-m-a-z-i-n-ggg!
Such beautiful singers.
And I made a Christmas playlist! I'm very excited to listen to it. (It includes my favorite, Buble's Christmas album!)
3 comments:
You know I could write for days about stuff like this. I'll try not to. Here's a quote from a movie I like, "That isn't change. That's fear of change."
Sometimes we only change ourselves so that other things (people, relationships, circumstances) won't have to change (or end).
You can't please everyone. And you will clash with others. And yes, no personality (as far as habits, traits, and inclinations go)is better than another. The extrovert is not better than the introvert is not better than the extrovert. So on and so forth.
But remember! Our actions can be good or bad. And if our habits, traits or inclinations lead to bad-sucky-stupid-hurtful actions... Then something has gotta change.
:). Keep writing!
Like John Mayer sang once, "We're waiting on the world to change."
It's natural that we gotta change. Haha, I don't know anyone who hasn't changed in SOME WAY, whether it's for better or for worse. I think you're changing for the BETTER. I can sense it when I talk to you nowadays or when I read your blog posts.
Don't get me wrong, you and I and everyone else have a LOOOOONG way to go. But knowing that you're walking in the right direction, it's good enough for now.
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